My 5am Morning Routine

Hello, it's me, NeonFiona, checking in to let you know that I'm better than you. I have evolved. I've reached a higher level of existence than people who sleep until a more human hour. Bask in my presence.

Anyway lol hey what's good team. Your girl has been waking up at 5am (let's be real, usually 5:30am) for a few months now, and 7am is officially a sleep-in. When I took my month without social media and side hustles due to complete and utter burnout I knew that something had to change. I was spending every evening working on videos or writing, and cancelling plans to... Work? More? Outside of my normal office job? It was ridiculous, but I truly love creating content online. I decided to start waking up earlier. This way I get to edit and film and write and create, and still maintain some level of sanity with evenings spent working out, seeing friends or just Doing Nothing. So, that's my explanation for my ridiculously early morning. Let me know if you want my tips on how to get up early and I'll write another blog post but WITHOUT FURTHER ADO here is my morning routine. 

5:30am - Caffeine & Music

The first thing I do when I wake up is get myself a large glass of water with ice and lemon, and make an iced matcha latte while listening to chilled out music. The music helps to set the tone of the morning, and the small caffeine dose actually wakes me up enough to move. 

5:45am - Morning Pages

This is time to just write a stream of consciousness and let my brain unload. I used to write these by hand, but it would appear no pen can move as fast as my genius brain, so we have moved to Google Docs. I write at least one page, and sometimes more if I just need to empty my head. 

6:00am - Stretching & Strength 

Now that my brain has worked out it's time to actually move my body a bit. I'll usually start with stretching because I'm not actually awake yet, but once my blood is moving I'll do a short strength workout too. There's not much to this one- lift some weights, do some squats, touch your toes, arch your back, etc etc. I like to keep it chill and save cardio for the evenings when I want to burn up some energy before bed. 

6:30am - Content Time

Now we get to why I actually get up early. Part of it is, of course, the uninterrupted "Me Time", but being able to smash through some content before work is my favourite thing. I'll usually edit videos, but sometimes I'll script, take flat lays for my second Instagram account, edit images for Instagram, or write captions. This lets me be creative before work (which doesn't always let me flex my creativity), and gives me a sense of accomplishment before the work day has even started. 

7:15am - Get Ready

Taking time to get ready has really allowed me to appreciate my mornings and relax a bit. I used to kind of roll out of bed and throw on some makeup before stumbling out the door. Having some actual time to put makeup on (which I generally have to for work), get dressed and make my hair look like it was washed at least once in the last week is SO much less stressful than my previous routine. I also need to dedicate time to this because otherwise I assume it'll take me five minutes when in reality it takes a lot longer. I'll usually watch YouTube videos while doing this because if my brain isn't concentrating on fifty things at once I'll explode. 

7:45am - Coffee, Pack Bag, Get Outta There

Once my face looks awake and I'm wearing something more professional than an oversized t-shirt with Santa dabbing on it I'll make an iced latte to take to work. I'll pack the coffee, my breakfast (overnight oats made the night before), and lunch (probably leftovers) in my bag, get my girlfriend to help put on my watch and bracelet that I wear every day, and get out of the house by 8am for my commute.

So there you have it! The morning routine of one of those weird people who voluntarily wake up before they realistically need to. I'm definitely not naturally a morning person, but realised it was the best way to achieve everything I want to get done. Are you a morning person? Can you imagine waking up at 5am? Let me know!

I Quit Social Media For A Week

Recently I realised that I was very much on the brink of a complete and utter breakdown. I was about to burn out. Everyone close to me says I work too much but I never saw it myself- being an incredibly ambitious type 8 who lives her life by the moon and judges her own successes and failures significantly more harshly than anybody else's I kind of just assume that I should constantly be hustlin'. My girlfriend regularly tells me I don't need to be a "productivity machine" and I'm kinda like lmao okay sure hun. For context- my schedule before this break had something scheduled for every minute of every day except Sunday evening, and Saturday morning where I was allowed to sleep in until 8am. Other than that every morning, lunch break, evening and weekend was filled with hustle. I would fall asleep writing to-do lists, plan every second of every day, ditch social plans to edit videos, and I genuinely haven't spent a day away from social media since I started using it over a decade ago. To nobody's surprise, ya girl couldn't keep this up. I'm a very all or nothing person and so when the moon told to me take a dang break I knew it was time. I developed the perfect plan called "The Month of Calm" where I would, ideally, not go on social media or work on any side hustles for an entire month. 

I'll probably go into this entire Month of Calm plan in another post but before you call me out for cheating by writing this- it was a planned exception. I'm a very creative person (as you'll see in a few paragraph's time) and to rid myself of all creative outlets would be maddening. This blog isn't really a part of my overall ~brand~ considering the last time I updated it was around two and a half years ago. I don't scheme for my blog, or take too much time editing and fixing it. Photos, filming, writing short tweets- everything else has been monetised in one way or another so blogging is my only safe space. And it's strange because (now you can tell this is just a stream of consciousness) I love writing. I love reading blogs but for some reason I've never dedicated any time to this. Anyway. Enough rambling. Here is what I have learned after giving up social media and all of my side hustles for one week (so far).

honestly all i've done this week is take baths

I Think In Tweets

This shouldn't be surprising to anybody who knows me, or is aware of my twitter presence. I tweet(ed) a LOT. I love a good meme. I love a short and snappy comeback. I love posting that #relatable content and pretty photos and random thoughts that somehow connect with other people around the world. This week I've taken to responding to my friends in meme formats, or texting like eight people the exact same thought with the same wording and formatting as if I tweeted it. 

I'm Obsessed With Documenting Everything

You know when you know something but you don't realise it? Realising I'm genuinely, truly obsessed with documenting my life was kind of shocking but at the same time not at all. When I was six I had, like, nine different journals for documenting different parts of my life- a mood tracker, one for what I ate that day, one for what I did that day, one for what I felt that day, and god knows what else I had a notebook for but I know I had enough to carry around in their own special bag. I've kept diaries my whole life, loved taking photos since I got my first camera for my 7th birthday, and since YouTube started I've been uploading endless thoughts, memories and ideas. I let Twitter know what's on my mind, I show Instagram where I've been and who I was with, and I tell YouTube... Way too much. Not having an outlet for all this, not recording content every day or tweeting my thoughts, or sharing photos from abroad has been so strange. In a way it's kind of freeing because, wow, these thoughts, they come, they go, life keeps moving. However, at the same time it's like oh god what if someone felt more accepted by that tweet? What if this thought made someone laugh? What if these selfies I just took would make sOMEONE I'm CRUSHING ON rEPLY to my gOD DAMN TEXT? This mindset probably isn't healthy so maybe by the end of the month I'll feel enlightened and above it all. Probably not. But I can dream.

i don't regret documenting this content tho tbh

I Don't Actually Miss It

This is the WEIRDEST thing to me because I assumed I'd be going crazy without social media? And I guess I miss knowing what's going on with my friends but also I can just text them? It's mostly weird not scrolling mindlessly on public transport or on the toilet, but aside from that your girl is genuinely doing fine. I know. I'm greater than all of you and on a whole other dang level. Thank you for acknowledging that. 

Less Time Is Wasted

Y'all. I am. Embarrassed? Shook? Confused? Annoyed? I didn't think I was spending enough time on social media that it was cutting into my day but honestly I think I've gained back at least one hour a day just from not binge-watching Instagram stories. When I return I'm gonna truly try and not get back into that. 

Creativity Is Going Crazy

I feel like I've said "I was so shocked by this! I can't believe it!" to all of these so maybe I'm just a total idiot but W O W my creativity has been running WILD. I don't know if it's because I removed the constant noise of social media, or I'm finally letting my brain feel an emotion other than stress, but I am full of ideas. I've accidentally started like four businesses in my head and I wish I was joking. I'm not scheming them properly as that isn't permitted this month, so my notes list for the month is going AWF. I feel like I'm looking for places where my creativity can overflow so I'm currently re-designing our entire apartment. When this month is done I'll be like one of those dogs who are being held back on a leash then go heckin WILD when they're allowed to run free. But the 'leash' is just me holding myself back because the moon told me to and 'going heckin' wild is starting several small businesses. 

Less Dwelling On The Negative

This one isn't a shock. The world sucks. People on Twitter suck. I have pretty good coping mechanisms (see: soft block and mute) but not seeing any of the negativity has been amazing. Ignorance truly is bliss. 

I Miss Memes

Not much more to this one. I feel very disconnected not knowing the latest memes. What's happening out there? What's the hot goss, kids? I feel left out.

My Default Is Constant Interaction

Engaging with people who follow me is something I love and definitely don't take for granted. Y'all are great. Not having people to chat to any hour of the day has been a major shift, but it's probably good that I'm being left along with my own thoughts for a bit. It's mostly strange when I want to start listening to new music or find decent podcasts to listen to and I can't just Ask The Audience. The real upside to this is I've put in more effort this week in meeting new people and making friends than I have in the three months since I moved to Sydney. I even did a socialise THREE TIMES this week? Normally I'm too busy or stressed for that so it's been super great taking the time to actually hang out with people I've been meaning to see, or making new friends. 

met an enneagram 3 and immediately invited her over to watch the backstreet boys movie it was a good time

I'm excited to take on week two by creating vision boards, doing more chores and just letting my mind chill out for a hot minute. Idk how to end this. See you whenever I see you. 

Shia LaBeouf and April

Shia Labeouf blessed April. No but seriously. My planner has different images at the start of each month. In September last year I decorated and organised my planner, and I put Shia LaBeouf at the start of April. I couldn’t tell you why at the time; I just knew that April was going to be good and I’ll be damned if I’m not having Shia watching over me at that point in time. And he did. 

it's called positive visualisation 

I always knew that April was going to be exceptional. Did the moon tell me? Was it a sign from the universe? Or was it my own ability to predict the future? I’ll never tell. However, even someone as connected with the spirits as myself is occasionally shocked at how darn accurate her premonitions and general “idk it’ll just be good” vibes are. 

Nine years old, and too clever for ur bullshit

April 1st was April Fools’ Day and I remembered my grandma’s birthday. Massive step up from 2003 when I thought it was a prank and defiantly said “no I will not fall for this! I will not attend lunch at grandma’s because my parents are playing a prank on me and I am nine. Nine is when you are too smart for this nonsense”. I was wrong. Grandma was angry. So any time I remember her birthday and don’t avoid it under the impression her birthday date is joke is great. 

The second of April I made a new friend. I do this regularly, because I’m super popular and likeable, but meeting someone you hella connect with instantly is a high-key lovely feeling. I don't normally comment on things like that, but there were definitive "Start of Something New" vibes during that first Skype call. That sounds way romantic. It's not. I just mean the banter was rad and I currently have the HSM soundtrack in my head. 

Justin and Yasmin visited me in the middle of April which was brilliant bc a) I love anybody visiting me ever and b) finally the queers outnumbered the seeshay* persons at Casa di Faddi. We ate a lot of food, visited Oxford, and ate more food. Honestly, I gained around five kilos from that weekend alone. 
*seeshay meaning cishet. Maddi gets sad that cishet doesn’t sound cool. We pander to it because it keeps my six year old son happy.



   



I haven’t been to Oxford in years, and while we didn’t get to see a proper castle (why is there a mall in Oxford castle it makes me very uncomfortable) we did get to see hella museums and eat vegan cupcakes. Another highlight of Oxford was SHRUNKEN HEADS. THEY HAVE. ACTUAL. REAL. SHRUNKEN HEADS??? IN OXFORD??? OKAY. Fun fact: shrunken heads were made by men to assert their masculinity. Dudes gotta chill. 

Shia blessed me with many new friendships in April. He also gave me the strength to end toxic ones, and the time (/energy) to strengthen old ones. Shia also gave us snow. SNOW. AT THE END OF APRIL. How else can you explain that? That’s right. Shia gave us the late-April snow, and you can’t even try to convince me otherwise. There are many other small things that made April incredible, but shockingly I do have a tiny ~private life~. Just know there is even more evidence that Shia LaBeouf truly and thoroughly blessed April for me.

Shia is the reason that April was top notch smashing it. May is the time to take things into my own hands. It’s going to be a crazy busy month. I have a marketing career to start (!!!), countries to visit, university classes to finish, and most importantly I really need to figure out what I’m doing for Eurovision. I’m sorry for the lack of videos in April, but university and life took priority. Mid-May things are going to kick off, I promise. I’ve got big things planned for May, and I promise you’ll play witness to at least a few of them. 

Cheers for April, Shia. I’ll be sure to thank you in person ASAP. Jk I’m not mentally or emotionally prepared to ever meet you but I hope you’re well and just generally always feeling safe and cared for.

the tiny angel himself 

April was also the month that I got snapchat which isn’t so much a blessing to me as it is a blessing for the people. Go and follow me, my username is neonfiona as (almost) always.

The Best YouTubers Under 10k

Here are some incredible YouTuber channels with less than ten thousand subscribers that you should probably subscribe to right this minute. You're super welcome.

Madz0rs

Before I begin, I’d like to point out that it makes me very uncomfortable complimenting Maddi because it is indescribably detrimental to both our brand and my personal enjoyment. Now that’s out of the way, a paragraph talking her up to y’all.

If you’re looking for funny, aesthetically-pleasing and mildly terrifying videos then search no further, my friends. Your quest ends here. Maddi’s videos are genuinely the height of entertainment and, as she often exclaims, it’s a surprise she isn’t YouTube famous yet. Her videos are just your standard “sit down and talk to a camera”, but well scripted, presented flawlessly and most importantly she’s original. Her personality shines through, her ideas are creative as heck and she makes up tag videos so if you’re feeling lazy you can just steal one of those. Lord knows I have. 

Madz0rs Starter Kit

Alone On Valentine's Day

The Abandonment Tag

Paddy Daly

I honestly can’t even describe these videos. They’re works of art and we are blessed to exist on this earth at the same time as Paddy Daly. 

Paddy Daly Starter Kit

☂☂♪all you2bers r fake! (except me)♪☂☂  

 a word for word recreation of an alfie deyes video 

Kelly Kitagawa

Consistently intelligent, insightful and entertaining; Kelly is like a queer and Canadian April Ludgate. Unless April Ludgate is already Canadian. Or queer. I don’t know much about April Ludgate apart from the fact that I like her and I also like Kelly and in saying that I like a lot of things that Kelly is not similar to (for example staying hydrated and spaceships and One Direction) so there definitely are other similarities between Kelly and April Ludgate. Don’t you fret about that. She’s basically sick of your idiocy and will get rid of it even if you didn’t know you had afforementioned idiocy. You probably do. You’re reading this piece of shit blog for one, and that’s quite a foolish move. Go do your homework or tell someone you love them. 

Kelly Starter Kit

Why Reverse Racism Doesn't Exist

Is Social Media Fake?

Voldey

We're bringing the excitement and energy levels down like thirty notches but not in a bad way. I’ve been watching Voldey for a VERY long time, so there’s a chance my affection for him is due to five years of stalking his online content. That said, I started watching a lot of people five years ago and I certainly don’t watch a large majority of them now. His videos are incredibly authentic, and he will (appear to) just turn the camera on and let the banter flow. You gain an insight into his life and mind, both of which he presents to his audience eloquently and with a strangely addictive tone. It’s the kind of YouTuber I can’t just show you one video of; you need to dive in and explore and grow attached to the person. That sounds super creepy. Justin, if you happen to be reading this, I’m not creepy. Cool. 

Voldey Starter Kit

High School Reunion

Disappointment

Honourable Mentions

I Read Books In Nightclubs

Jonny Vickers is a gosh darn delight. He does the acting and singing thing for a living so if you’re into that get right on over to his channel this very second. And if it doesn’t interest you? You’ll still be hooked. He’s charming, entertaining, Scottish and hashtag relatable. Jonny Vickers is quite the character and I promise you’ll fall for him. 

Mooments

The lovechild of Mitchell Davis, Nanalew and idk some hipster Australian dude. Maybe a splash of Dan Howell too? Idek. He’s a YouTube recipe for success but somehow the numbers don’t match up and that’s just cray. He’s into Disney and anime, has fairy lights in the background and his hair is hella good. I don’t know how else to sell this.

Note: This did initially contain five main YouTubers but FrigginBoom has, overnight, privated all of his videos. Which is super upsetting because literally no other YouTuber makes me literally laugh out loud every time I watch. Will add his little section back in if they resurface.

Right This Second: Albury

Making: This blog post, I suppose

Cooking: A salad I’m going to eat later. It’s very much a ready-made salad but have to pour the dressing on myself AND remember to take out the fork before I do that. It'll take some artistry and skill but I'm up for the challenge.

Drinking: Water, and I need more of it.

Reading: The Pact by Jodi Picoult. Got bored and read the last few pages though bc I wanted to know if I was right about the ending (I was).

Wanting: A decent gym session

Looking: Out the window to avoid looking at creepy train men.

Wasting: My laptop battery. Why don’t trains have plugs in Australia? It’s 2015.

Wishing: I hadn’t eaten so much beige food the last two days.

Enjoying: My Ned Kelly photos

Waiting: To get to Melbourne so Maddi and I can have a business meeting about our lives.

Watching: Prom, a DCOM that is more magical than you could imagine. 

Liking: Nobody romantically and that feels hella good.

Wondering: When the creepy man across from me will get off the train.

Loving: Ned Kelly

Hoping: I can soon make it illegal for men to look at women for longer than ten seconds unless given permission to do so because boy oh BOY am I uncomfortable rn.

Marvelling: At how dudes can wear literally just shorts so low their underwear is fully showing and half their ass is on display but I’m told off for wearing short skirts.

Needing: To fill my body with coloured food.

Smelling: The subtle, stale stench of air conditioning.

Wearing: Velvet black skirt, cropped striped shirt and chunky boots.

Playing: Chilled music (the Blackbear, Shawn Mendes, etc)

Following: My own advice, which is good.

Noticing: That the creepy man has gotten up to use the bathroom

Knowing: He’ll be back and creeping soon enough so truly appreciating this time alone

Thinking: About meal plans and gym routines- should probably get to writing these down.

Feeling: Dehydrated and gross in general. My body is not happy with me.

went running here and cried bc hills

didn't cry here on my run. good times

Five Songs That Stab My Heart

My friend Dodie uploaded a video about her five favourite songs. I couldn’t possibly pick my five favourites, but a common theme in her video was "these songs stabbed me in the heart". So, here are five songs that stabbed my heart the first time I heard them, and continue to make lil stabs and jabs and tiny cuts every time I hear them.

Melt My Heart To Stone by Adele

In 2011 I had my heart broken for the first time. It was a really fucking hard time; it felt as if my entire world had been shattered. This song resonated with me in the most painful way possible, but hearing the words “I’m the only one in love” just… I can’t even explain. I was so fucking in love with this boy, and couldn’t imagine my world without him, and wrapping my head around the fact that he didn’t feel the same way low key destroyed me. I’m genuinely 100% over him now, but hearing this will bring me right back to his hallway, or the church near his house, or Green Park station, or any other place where I completely broke down because ur girl accidentally thought about being apart from him. 

Key lyric: You say my name like there could be an us. I best tidy up my head, I'm the only one in love. I'm the only one in love. 

I Wanna Be Yours by The Arctic Monkeys

For me, this is the perfect love song. One lovely summer night I remember discussing AM with my friend Luke. He said this was his favourite song from the album and I was like “oh really? It isn’t even nearly up there for me”. He just responded with “wait until you love someone and you’ll understand”. And then I developed a high key crush on someone and this song was all I could listen to. There are so many songs about wanting someone to be all yours, but this song is more than that. It’s a dedication. It’s saying you want nothing more than to belong fully to them. The vulnerability behind it punches me in the gut, and as such I avoid it whenever I have a crush because it only makes things SO MUCH WORSE.

Key lyric: Maybe I just wanna be yours, I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours.

(Sidebar: aforementioned friend Luke is now moving in with the girl he was talking about in the summer of 2013 so that’s PRETTY DARN CUTE IMO)

And The Snakes Start To Sing by Bring Me The Horizon

This song encapsulates my depression. There’s a certain level of hopelessness that hits me quite deeply. More than this, I can’t even big to describe how it makes me feel musically. My body moves with this song; my back arches when Oli screams, certain beats make me sway, and I can identify the guitar riffs that will make me curl into a ball, hug my knees and wait until that part is over. I have been shaped by this song, it lives at my core and I don’t think that will ever change. Everything I'm too scared to say aloud is expressed here.

Key lyric: I'm just a would've been, could've been, should've been, never was and never ever will be. 

Oceans Between Us by The Getaway Plan

I started crying when I played this to write about it. Like, it is very much 6am and I haven’t yet slept but regardless, it’s an emotional one. If I had to name one song that got me through my biggest break up, it would be this. Matt sings of a love that you thought only you knew, and then hits you with “but there’s no point in looking backwards when there are oceans between us”. Our relationship ended because I moved back to Australia, and so as you can imagine that hit a girl KINDA FUCKING HARD. This particular man and I never did get back together, but this song just reminds me I’m capable of a love like that, that I’m able to get over, and that I’ll hopefully feel that way again. It gave me hope when I needed hope, told me how perfect things were when I needed reminding, and eventually allowed me to let go when I needed to move on. 

Key lyric: There was a time when I could hold you, and we would watch the whole world spin.

A Tale of Outer Suburbia by Hands Like Houses

To me, this song is about feeling disconnected and completely disheartened with the way your life is going. About not seeing home in the place you're supposed to call home and an overwhelming despair that it won't get better. And you get to the point where you want to scream and let the world collapse around you, if only for a moment. Everything is pushing on you and it’s crushing you but there’s nothing you can do. If you’ve listened to this album before, my life went from No Parallels to A Tale of Outer Suburbia and Oceandust (mentioned next) in two months. I went from the highest I’ve felt in my entire life to the lowest. Only this song ever really summed that up.

Key lyric: A thousand unfamiliars are lying thick on the air and I can't breathe.

Ocean dust by Hands Like Houses

This is the song to follow A Tale of Outer Suburbia. You know how you so desperately wanted to crack, and break down, and scream until your lungs are on fire before collapsing in a mess on the floor? This is the song you sing when you’re on the floor. Every breakdown had a soundtrack in my mind and it was just this song on loop.

Key lyric: I don't want to pretend that I'm stronger for it all. I don't want to pretend that the sadness is gone.

Right This Second: The First Time

This format of blog is best suited to exotic locations and milestone moments in life. I'm just sitting in my living room but my mind is running on MASSIVE blog posts that I can't possibly write up right now, or nothing at all. Anyway, have this.

Making: Some very big decisions

Cooking: Up some schemes

Drinking: Water bc hydration is important. I really want that to become an integral part of my #brand as it’s something I’m real passionate about.

Reading: a million and one job descriptions

Wanting: To be in London already

Looking: At the living room. It’s messy which I don’t like because Maddi and I need to do tarot cards tonight and this isn’t a clear environment for that.

Wasting: The day and maybe my life, who knows.

Wishing: That I had a job at Buzzfeed and also that I was fifteen kilos lighter but that’s always the case, so.

Enjoying: The water I’m drinking. Hydration is important, my friends.

Waiting: For January 22^nd.

Watching: YouTube videos #relatable

 Liking: How positive things are looking

Wondering: oh LORD we do not have time for this right now

Loving: She’s Not Afraid by One Direction. It just came on shuffle and since it came out I’ve been convinced that it is about me.

Hoping: I can get a job at Buzzfeed

Marvelling: At how I’m single because it’s been genuinely baffling to me lately. I’m a great girlfriend and I need the people I’m crushing on to realise that.

Needing: To tidy the living room

 Smelling: Like Yog Nog soap because ur girl had a shower even though she’s not leaving the house like the clean and put-together gal she is

Wearing: black leggings and a black t-shirt.
Playing: Want Some More by Nicki Minaj. Danke, shuffle.

Following: My dreams which is exciting but also a little terrifying (but mum and dad if you’re reading this I’m not at all nervous and am making the right decisions, I promise)

Noticing: I have a slight headache. Need to up the water intake, probably.

Knowing: That the water I just drank was a good decision #spon

Thinking: I'll need to write down a list of goals and a list of things to ask the tarot cards. My brain is a scrambled mess.

Feeling: Fat and I know "fat" isn't a feeling but I ate a lot of Weetbix just now and my belly is genuinely protruding a good five centimetres more than it normally does.

(Sidebar, stole this from Maddi's blog. She probably stole it from someone else idk but go stalk hers anyway bc there's some top notch content on there)