My friend Dodie uploaded a video about her five favourite songs. I couldn’t possibly pick my five favourites, but a common theme in her video was "these songs stabbed me in the heart". So, here are five songs that stabbed my heart the first time I heard them, and continue to make lil stabs and jabs and tiny cuts every time I hear them.
Melt My Heart To Stone by Adele
In 2011 I had my heart broken for the first time. It was a really fucking hard time; it felt as if my entire world had been shattered. This song resonated with me in the most painful way possible, but hearing the words “I’m the only one in love” just… I can’t even explain. I was so fucking in love with this boy, and couldn’t imagine my world without him, and wrapping my head around the fact that he didn’t feel the same way low key destroyed me. I’m genuinely 100% over him now, but hearing this will bring me right back to his hallway, or the church near his house, or Green Park station, or any other place where I completely broke down because ur girl accidentally thought about being apart from him.
Key lyric: You say my name like there could be an us. I best tidy up my head, I'm the only one in love. I'm the only one in love.
I Wanna Be Yours by The Arctic Monkeys
For me, this is the perfect love song. One lovely summer night I remember discussing AM with my friend Luke. He said this was his favourite song from the album and I was like “oh really? It isn’t even nearly up there for me”. He just responded with “wait until you love someone and you’ll understand”. And then I developed a high key crush on someone and this song was all I could listen to. There are so many songs about wanting someone to be all yours, but this song is more than that. It’s a dedication. It’s saying you want nothing more than to belong fully to them. The vulnerability behind it punches me in the gut, and as such I avoid it whenever I have a crush because it only makes things SO MUCH WORSE.
Key lyric: Maybe I just wanna be yours, I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours.
(Sidebar: aforementioned friend Luke is now moving in with the girl he was talking about in the summer of 2013 so that’s PRETTY DARN CUTE IMO)
And The Snakes Start To Sing by Bring Me The Horizon
This song encapsulates my depression. There’s a certain level of hopelessness that hits me quite deeply. More than this, I can’t even big to describe how it makes me feel musically. My body moves with this song; my back arches when Oli screams, certain beats make me sway, and I can identify the guitar riffs that will make me curl into a ball, hug my knees and wait until that part is over. I have been shaped by this song, it lives at my core and I don’t think that will ever change. Everything I'm too scared to say aloud is expressed here.
Key lyric: I'm just a would've been, could've been, should've been, never was and never ever will be.
Oceans Between Us by The Getaway Plan
I started crying when I played this to write about it. Like, it is very much 6am and I haven’t yet slept but regardless, it’s an emotional one. If I had to name one song that got me through my biggest break up, it would be this. Matt sings of a love that you thought only you knew, and then hits you with “but there’s no point in looking backwards when there are oceans between us”. Our relationship ended because I moved back to Australia, and so as you can imagine that hit a girl KINDA FUCKING HARD. This particular man and I never did get back together, but this song just reminds me I’m capable of a love like that, that I’m able to get over, and that I’ll hopefully feel that way again. It gave me hope when I needed hope, told me how perfect things were when I needed reminding, and eventually allowed me to let go when I needed to move on.
Key lyric: There was a time when I could hold you, and we would watch the whole world spin.
A Tale of Outer Suburbia by Hands Like Houses
To me, this song is about feeling disconnected and completely disheartened with the way your life is going. About not seeing home in the place you're supposed to call home and an overwhelming despair that it won't get better. And you get to the point where you want to scream and let the world collapse around you, if only for a moment. Everything is pushing on you and it’s crushing you but there’s nothing you can do. If you’ve listened to this album before, my life went from No Parallels to A Tale of Outer Suburbia and Oceandust (mentioned next) in two months. I went from the highest I’ve felt in my entire life to the lowest. Only this song ever really summed that up.
Key lyric: A thousand unfamiliars are lying thick on the air and I can't breathe.
Ocean dust by Hands Like Houses
This is the song to follow A Tale of Outer Suburbia. You know how you so desperately wanted to crack, and break down, and scream until your lungs are on fire before collapsing in a mess on the floor? This is the song you sing when you’re on the floor. Every breakdown had a soundtrack in my mind and it was just this song on loop.
Key lyric: I don't want to pretend that I'm stronger for it all. I don't want to pretend that the sadness is gone.
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